Friday, August 19, 2011

The First Week of School

There are a few things that I really enjoy about my day job. You could even call them perks. I can relearn and study up on history, refreshing my knowledge. I can also read stories and books that I might have never read, or reread some of my favorites. I also can challenge my memory on whether or not I remember the correct Algebra equation to answer the problem.

One of my favorites though, is the questionnaire they give at the beginning of school so the teacher can get to know the students. This is a very personal perk. I don't know what it is, but I love filling out questionnaires or quizzes about myself. I always have, I used to fill them out in the teen magazines of my youth. I'm sure there's some deep rooted answer to this, or the simple on of narcissism. Either way, I have fun with them.

So, to fulfill the narcissistic element of myself, I will fill out one that was handed to our 5th grader. I'll do just one, because otherwise I won't get anything done.

My family: I have an amazing mom, a strong father, a heroic brother, and a creative sister. All of which are amazing! I also have a step-mom, awesome in-laws, and a niece and nephew I love more than myself.

My birthday, birthplace and places I have lived: Being from a military background this is a fun question. I was born in Cheyenne Wy on January 31 at Fort Warren Air Force base. I have also lived in Omaha NB and Eatontown NJ, and McAllen TX for a while.

My hobbies, talents, pets, sports, and other interests: I like to make jewelry and write screenplays in my spare time, as well as paint and make cards and scrapbooks. Pretty much anything you can do with your hands, I can do. I'm a pretty creative person. At the moment I don't have any pets, but we are in the market for one. It's been a while since we've had a pet in the house, and I'm beginning to miss my furry companion. I love playing volleyball, pool party/beach v-ball is my favorite summer activity. I'm also getting really into kickboxing, and have branched out (slightly at the moment) into martial arts. I love reading books and watching movies/TV, spending time with my friends and family, having a wonderful conversation over a beverage...

The most interesting experience of my life: I've had some awesome experiences in my life. I've been able to travel to several places in the states, and out of country. I've had the crazy nights with my friends, in city and out of city. I've had the monumental concert experiences, seen some awesome bands. But, if I had to pick one to talk about, I'll discuss my 30th birthday.
It started with the spending a day in Fredricksburg with my dad and having a great time just being together, being close, being a father-daughter team. Then, the night before I left for my trip, my friends threw me a dinner/drinks party at a wine bar. All of the IC was there, even a bff from out of state flew in just to see me. They all made me bday cards, which is something I always do for them. Then, I went to see my sister and bro-in-law in WA and we spent the weekend in Vancouver Canada. Not a bad way to start off your 30s, not at all.

My best memory from past years: I have a lot of great memories from my youth. Most of them include my brother. However, I'll say one that involves my sister, to show her that I don't just think of how mean she was to me. I was 13, I believe, and Interview with the Vampire was soon to be released in theaters. Of course I couldn't get in on my own, and my mom wasn't going to take me for she hates 'horror' films (that has since changed). My sister offered to take me, on one condition. The condition being that I had to read the book before I saw the movie. I think I complained at first, I wasn't ever a big reader when I was younger, but I did it for the movie. I loved the book! It also started me wanting to read the books (usually before) I see a movie adaptation. Anyways, I remember going with my sister and her bff (who they are still friends, and who I hang out with from time to time and view as a sister) in the bffs red Chevy Beretta to Northcross Mall. One of the times when my sister let me hang out with her and her friends when I was younger, and had a great time (and loved the movie).

My favorite school subjects: I love History and English. My favorite classes in college were Gothic English, Military History, Vampires in Eastern Europe, and Narration in World Cinema.

My favorite books, foods, movie, and TV shows: Books would be Pride and Prejudice, Frankenstein, Harry Potter, and The Hunger Games. Foods would be Mom's home cooking, Asian, and really good hamburgers. Movies would be Casablanca, Millions (Danny Boyle), Fifth Element (Luc Besson), Talk to Her (Almodovar)... My favorite TV shows would be Buffy, White Collar, SOA, The Shield (am going to start The Wire so chill), Extras...

My plans for the future: My main plan for the future is to be happy. I know it sounds lame and a cop out, but it's true. As long as I continue to make choices that make me happy, then I'm set. Sure I want to work in the industry and direct a script of mine and continuing writing, but that's stuff that makes me happy. I want to spend time with my loved ones and stay close, but that fills my heart with love. I would like to have a family one day, but that'll come when I finally meet my Mr. Darcy and makes me happy. It all comes down to being happy with where you are and who you are. Everything else is just details.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Those Guys

You know the ones I'm talking about. These are the ones that you can't stop thinking about. These are the ones that you feel you have a connection with, you enjoy spending time with them, and they make you feel all gitty and teen-like. These are the ones that you find out want nothing to do with you. These are the ones that don't think of you as you think of them. These are the ones that after all of that, you still find yourself thinking about from time to time.

We don't know why we do this to ourselves. Our entire psyche is telling us this is unhealthy, that we are causing ourselves more pain than what this person is worth. Yet, stubbornly we don't listen. We think it's fun to imagine how things could have gone if you were controlling the universe. We like to think how things in our perfect world would be.

This has happened to me many times in my life. While the type of guys has changed, the situations have not. You would have thought that I would have learned at one point or another that what I'm doing is wrong. Nope, I must have missed that lecture. In the past, I would have at least learned a little something about myself and what type of guy I was "crushing" on. I wouldn't necessarily change, but I would realize that maybe these aren't the healthiest types for me, the ones that don't fit my life and lifestyle. Maybe I did learn a little after all.

It's actually fun to look back at my tastes in guys and see the evolution from when I was a teen to an adult. To make this fun, I'll use my Hollywood crushes as examples: Devon Sawa/Jonathan Brandis' to the Elijah Woods/Mike Vitars to the Justin Timberlakes/Josh Harnetts to the Orlando Blooms to the Chris Kliens to the Jake Gyllenhaals to the Brandon Boyds to the Chris Evans' to the Joel Edgerton/Alex O'Loughlins (some of the later ones have yet to fade). Typical, I know. The pretty boys to the tall dark and handsoms to the musicians to the men. At least this is how I see it. I should see it, they're my types.

Most of that evolution comes with age. Being in my 30s (gasp! still think it's weird), I want to feel secure. I want to feel like I'm taken care of, but not suffocated. It's that traditional model with a modern twist. I always say that my perfect man is Mr. Darcy. One who challenges you and pushes you to look deep inside yourself to find out who you are, and the one who will love you for you and who doesn't want to change anything about you.

That seems to have been a problem for me recently. I thought I had found my Darcy. Now don't go all crazy like and think I said the one, because I so did not! Yeah, I may be around the new marrying age, but I'm not about to just jump into a dress and haul myself down the aisle. I'm still having way to much fun with my life to think about that. But yes, I do think I'm looking for someone to have a relationship with. I thought I found the guy I could have a relationship with. Then I thought I found someone who I had a lot in common with and would have a fun relationship with. Both of them went down in flames.

Rejection is an interesting word to use because I'm not sure one of them was rejection. I'm very sure the other one was, and it's whatever. That one would have been more fun than anything, and for me there was a crazy attraction (that has a root in a nerd element so we'll forget to mention that part) and knew it wouldn't be a long connection anyway. Not to say that I wouldn't try it or that it wouldn't be fun to try...I'm just okay with it burning in flames at the moment. The other one could of just been out of ignorance. Okay, probably was all my fault because I never said anything about how I felt.

I don't like to think of that, necessarily, as all my fault. I'm not your typical modern girl (my phrasing early was perfect, by the way). While I am very independent and am secure in my ideas and thoughts, I also believe that it doesn't always have to be the girl to make the first move. Why is it wrong to think that if a guy is interested he should approach the girl in question? That traditional element, and some more, of 'old school' courting is something that I think is missing in our generation. It also has to do with the fact that that tactic hasn't worked for me so I'm boycotting it for a while. If you're interested in me, you can approach me instead of me approaching someone who isn't interested in me. It makes sense to me.

Either way, there is a person I can't get out of my head. The thing that is so frustrating is that he was gone for a good while. I experienced something that knocked me down, so I separated myself from the situation. I did good. Yea me! Not so fast strong self, one little dose and I find myself right back where I was. Maybe I'm a little bit better now, at least now I know it's unhealthy for me.

What I really need to do is focus on something else. Put those emotions into something else. That is something a writer would say, isn't it? Having crushes on other guys has helped in the past. Almost helped. The last one was the one that I didn't expect to ever see again and ended up realizing we have stuff in common then resulted in rejection.

I think this time I'll just focus on my Hollywood crushes. It's more fun and the element of rejection isn't there. Unless I actually meet them, which in my career isn't all that impossible. All we can do then is hope things end up differently than before. Now that is what I call fun!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Welcome back....

The summer has officially ended for me. I'm back at work.

I didn't do much this summer, or at least it feels like it, but I did. I guess I'm referring to the list of household "To Dos" that I never finished. You always have those things of Spring Cleaning or Summer Projects that get pushed aside. I did do a few things on those lists, but with our super crazy hot summer, I just got lazy.

I spent many a days lying on the couch watching Netflix Instant. Amazing. It was fun just watching random movies. I cleared a lot of my Q, but then repopulated the list with television shows. I don't know if I'll ever get it down to a manageable number.

I did do some really awesome things this summer, too. Those days were mainly spent filming segments for "Viva Latino!" We have been on the air since July, and still doing strong. We're starting to get some buzz around town, which can only mean good things in the future.

It's been a really good summer in that sense. Our crew, at this point, have a sibling like relationship. Filming days may be long, but it's fun. It's nice to have such an awesome crew, and it's really nice that we all get along. It sucks that we can't film as much as we'd like, but our crew is still stationed in Beaumont for the time being. I think we all long for the day we are all based here....with a studio. Some day.

I also spent some awesome days with my bffs. Many a days just lounging by the pool. I actually have a tan, I have color! Then, one day of playing volleyball changes all that to me having tans lines. Ugh. That's okay, though. While I may be working again, our weather still is in summer mode. I have a few more pool days in my future.

I also got to travel. I went to Virginia to visit family. That may not be most people's idea of a summer vacation, but it's mine. I love spending time with family, especially those that live in other places. Besides, the whole act of traveling, plane trips and packing a suitcase, make it a vacation. I had an awesome time with my family. While I didn't get to see all that are in Virginia this time around, the ones that I did see was time I cherish. And plus, I got to go to my favorite clothing store, I was happy. Hey now, I'm still a girl and I do like to shop.

I didn't read as many books as I would have liked, or wrote as much as I had planned. I definitely didn't keep this up as I had planned many months ago. But, I do hope that with this new school year I will be more proactive on what I want to accomplish and create.

That new motivation will come from a few new places. For writing, I want to create. I want to get back to my roots and jump back into my characters and create this new world for someone. It's about writing down or perfecting this image I have in my head. It also helps that with my networking that is coming from Viva, I want to make sure my blog is up to date and presentable. I am a writer, and promoting myself as a writer, I need to write.
Another new motivation is coming from a side business. I have been making jewelry for a while now, and am expanding my talents every day. I've gotten compliments on some of the pieces I've made, for me or others, and think I have enough interest to sell. I'll start off small and reasonable, and make them one of a kind pieces for a particular person. We'll see what happens.

It's interesting, still, that I view my years as having two new beginnings. I have the obvious new beginning in the new year, but I also see the start of school as a new beginning. Between going to school and college, and now working for the district, our years start at the end of the summer. I have two times a year that I can recharge my batteries. I have two times a year I can refocus on what's important in my life. It's nice to have this. Now, if only I'll stick with it and not be hypnotized by the television and what all is offered....