Hit with Real Life

I expected to be feel a little more like an adult after turning 30 (which was a fantastic time! went by way to fast.), but I never expected to be thrust into it as soon as I stepped off the plane.

Literally, right when I can back I was aware that my father wasn't doing too well, or at least he joked about his healthy, which freaked me out. It turned that that the joke indeed was something serious. The good thing is that we are taking care of it and everyone is very confident.

It's never easy looking at your parent's mortality in the face, and it's definitely not easy seeing it every day.

Dealing with family health problems is never easy, especially when you're right on the front lines. The hardest part is waiting for an answer. You're freaking out while this is happening, tons of things running through your head, and you don't know what to do. If you think about things too much then you breakdown, and that's not good for anyone involved. You are automatically thrown into the strength position, which you gladly take, but are afraid that you are going to crack. Luckily for you, you have some amazing friends and family who are there as support.

Once a diagnosis is made and a course of action is set, you start to relax. Not to much, because the threat of total breakdown is always sneaking around the corner. Reinforcements are called in, which you not only are grateful for, but who can also help you tread into uncharted waters. Several waves seems to be in the works. Everyday you feel more and more confident that you and yours will conquer what is ahead of you. Of course you will, your family is not one to be easily messed with.

You slowly start to see your life return to normalcy, for it has to. You have not only worked so hard to build a life your proud of, but things are beginning to form that you never expected. Life, as they say, must go on.

I knew things were going to change for me this year, but dammit, I didn't want this to happen. I already had a shitty health year last year, it wasn't supposed to be repeated. I also never expected this to hit me like a ton of bricks, though I guess it's not suppose to be something that happens over time. Basically, I wasn't ready for this to happen right after my awesome Flirty Thirty weekend.

The point of life is to take challenges thrown at you and adjust to them so you can continue on your way. I have been derailed, that's for sure, but I'm in the process of getting back on the tracks. That's really all I can do. Build my strength and get back to myself, but allowing others to help and reach out for much needed help. It's a long road ahead, but I think I can make it through.

Flirty Thirty!!

It's the night before I leave on my 30th birthday extravaganza! I'm so excited.

So. Freaking. Excited.

Actually, I'm starting my extravaganza tonight. My bffs, the IC, are taking me out to a local wine bar. We're in our late 20s/30s, it's the sophisticated thing to do...Right? Besides the point. We're all going to have some wine and some ridiculous fun before I go and spend time in the Pacific Northwest.

In an email to my sister, I said this: "All these celebrations are helping in the acceptance of turning 30. Or maybe it's because my life at 30 is pretty damn good. I have an amazing family unit, unbelievable friends, my career is starting to take off and there's room of advancement, I'm feeling good about myself and seeing results, confident in who I am. I think your 20's is when you worry about where you'll be at a certain time, finding yourself, dealing with crazy shit.... Your 30s is about loving life for what it is and enjoying where you're at. You realize that things happen when they happen for a reason, so why worry about the things you can't change.

Or maybe I'm just super excited about partying it up with you in Vancouver. Either Or.

It's weird when you think about your life, and where you're going. Maybe it's the Peter Pan syndrome thing, who knows. I had a really hard time turning 25. Like I cried for 2 weeks about it. I kept thinking back to when I was 18 and where I thought I'd be at 25.

First off, you know nothing at 18. Second, life hardly ever works out the way you want it to. Sure, it does happens, but in reality what are you giving up for it? I didn't want to give up certain things, and that's why things happened differently for me. Those aren't things that I regret. I don't think I have any regrets. I am who I am, and where I am, based on the decisions I've made for personal reasons. I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be. It took me 5 years to really except that and understand that, but I'm finally there.

Of course, this all could be just influence from my older sister and her friends. They did the same thing: trouble turning 25, loved turning 30. I guess at heart I'm still vying to be like them.

Anyways, back to my excitement. I'm going with one of my bffs, and I couldn't be happier. I'm so glad that she's coming with me/us. We've traveled before, sort of, on a weekend beach trip for another bday, but nothing as large as Vancouver. We've gotten really close lately, and I'm super excited to be experiencing this with her. On the other hand, I'm bummed that more of my peeps couldn't come. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that it's not possible, and a long shot all along. But there's something about celebrating with your loved ones that means the world to me. I do have tonight, though. Lord knows we're going to rock it!

I don't know if I'll have any life changing experiences or mind altering realizations, things that you are 'suppose' to have when you hit a landmark. All I know is that I'm in a really good place personally, and that's all I can ask for.

And maybe meeting a certain Canadian actor who has Austin ties. That's be cool too.

On a side note: My cousin's wedding (those who were wondering) was beautiful. She looked absolutely amazing and the wedding itself was wonderful. I got some great pictures of the loving couple, a few "YES!" shots that I have to show her. It was also nice being with family again. I got to see and spend time with both sides of my family this time (which, I think I'm going to try to make a regular thing). No matter how long I've been away, or how much I think I'm different than my family, they are me. For me, being with my family connects me to them in a deep way. Learning history, their relationships as kids, seeing pictures; all of these things makes my ancestry real. It brings you down a notch and reminds you that family is the most important thing in life. Even if some of them are crazy.

Back on track, the wedding was an amazing time. Wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Congrats you two. Very happy for you and wishing you many years of love, laughter, and adventure.

13th Sign

When I first heard about this I was in denial. Nope, not me. I'm not going to except this new logic. Especially when the new sign changed the dates dramatically. Or at least it changed the people in my inner circle, including myself.

In the good old days where there were only 12 signs I was considered an Aquarius. Here's the basic ideals of an Aquarius.

Aquarius is the sign of visionaries, unconventionality and intellectual independence. Aquarius are the people who deviate from the crowd and go their own way. They are always after intellectual stimulation, constantly discovering something new, forming new opinions and stubbornly traveling their way regardless of what other people think. Aquarius are filled with paradoxes, they are interested in the opposite ends of the spectrum, they like to be alone yet are social butterflies, they like to experience both sides and see both opinions as they formulate new ideas with their forward thinking, active mind.

According to the inclusion of the 13th sign, I now fall under the Capricorn sign.

Capricorns have a very active mind and strong powers of concentration. Capricorns like being in control of their surroundings and everyone in their life. Capricorns are very cautious but this only to survey the situation before leaping in, they will never make a hasty jump in. They accept change but introduce it slowly so they can get used to it and incorporate it into their life. Capricorns tend to see life in black or white, definitive's only. There are no gray areas for these are areas that are not understood and this makes Capricorn feel uncomfortable.

This is just a snippet of what each sign is, but I'm very much an Aquarian. I was devastated, in denial about being a Capricorn. Not that there is anything wrong with that, my brother and father are Capricorns (and fit perfectly by the way).

Then I did some research during my lunch time. I found out that there are several different forms, types I guess, of astrology. The Western horoscope goes by 12 signs, equally spaced at 30 degrees. The Vedic, or sidereal, form goes by many signs and is ever changing. Also, during my research I came across the fact that this new sign, Ophiuchus (the Serpent Holder) , the has been around for many many years, centuries in fact.

Well, I guess in reality, with the rotation of the planets and stars, space in general, is ever changing. I except that. I'm still an Aquarius.

Winter is finally here.

I love winter. It's my favorite season. It's the perfect cuddle under a blanket and watch movies/tv weather. I have an excuse to do what I already love doing. It's interesting to think that winter is still my favorite season, I do live in Texas after all. Our winters are like 2 weeks long. The most beautiful season to be in Central Texas is the spring. The wild flowers are an amazing sight. I won't even discuss our summers. For living in a place that goes from hot to hotter to warm to freezing to warm and so on pretty quickly, I'm a minority in my cold weather love.

I remember when I was in college (one of my favorite stories from that time, actually) and we would take breaks during our production classes, my friends and I would go outside in the Communications quad and talk. During the cold weeks I would get super hyper (I still do) and bounce around and be even sillier/happier than I normally am. My bff would be wrapping his arms around his body as if his torso was about to launch, giving me the stinkiest stink eye. He, like many that I know, hate cold weather. I still think about that when I'm bouncing around in the cold, thinking of that stink eye.

I like to think it's because I was born in the cold region. I believe I was even born during a blizzard in Cheyenne WY. I then lived in both NE and NJ before settling in TX. Okay, so I was only a 'northerner' for 9 years of my life, but I still like to believe I am holding strong to that cold bone in my body.

When you're that age winter is the fun time. Sledding in snow is one of the funniest things to do as a child. When I lived on a golf course (military housing) we used to use the sand traps and slides for the sleds. So much fun. I got out of there before I had to do snow chores, so that too could be a big part of it. Maybe it's because I tend to run warmer than most, in the sense of a warm body instead of a fever warm, and I'm more comfortable when my body is doubling in heat. Or it could be that I'm a January baby. I had always wanted a pool party for my birthday, but couldn't (although, there are some cases when I technically could cause it's not nearly January cold) and I embraced the cold and my chosen season.

Whatever the reason, whatever the excuse, I love cold weather. My love has grown in the last few years, too, due to my new interest in crochetting and jackets. For example, I'm wearing a pair of fingerless gloves that I made. Putting to use what you have made always makes me feel accomplished. Hey, I'm a girl. I'm sorta into fashion.

Either way, I'm happy its 40 degrees outside. I either wish I was bouncing around outside with friends while they glare at me, or wrapped in a blanket browsing through Netflix's Instant collection.

PS: The wedding was amazing! My cousin looked gorgeous, and the wedding itself was beautiful. I'll write about it soon. I've been too lazy to sit down and write a long entry about my weekend. I will though, don't worry.

Road Trip

Maybe not. Would traveling for a family wedding be considered a road trip? I mean, technically it is. I'm leaving my city of residence to go to another city for an event. Granted, the city if full of family members and not really the place you want to go for a vacation, cause I'm going to Brownsville.

Yep, the southern most point in Texas. A very interesting place, if you've never been there. However, if you've went to college in Texas I'm pretty sure you have a Spring Break story, or two, from your time on South Padre Island.

Anyways, not the point.

I'm going on this glorious road trip for my dear cousin's wedding. I'm really happy for her! I've met the guy, and I like him. I got a good vibe from him, and I know he'll take care of her. They came up to Austin the weekend they became engaged, so I was one of the first to know. I feel like because of that I have a special place in their marriage. Or maybe it has nothing to do with me and the fact that I live in a really cool city, and he also has family here.

I've made the trip to Bville, as I like to call it, many many times. The trip is tedious and long, but at the same time it's eye opening. I travel half way through the state of Texas, and during those 6 or so hours you see quite a few landscapes pass through your window. When we went down for my other cousin's bridal shower in April the wild flowers were unbelievable! It was as if Pollock used the ground as his canvas. The winters, I mean "winters," are interesting too cause up in Central Texas you actually have colored leaves or trees with no leaves, but towards The Valley you still have a pretty lush landscape. Take fore example this weekend. It's going to be around 80 in Bville, while in Austin we're getting a cold front that will take us from 72 to 51. Makes for interesting packing. (although, who am i kidding. i always over pack)

What makes this trip even more interesting, I'm going to be listening to my beloved podcasts on the way down. This will be the first time my mom will get to listen to and understand why I randomly crack up laughing at work. (We work together, obviously, for the school district, and with teachers coming and going all the time I listen to the podcasts on headphones. The language isn't proper for school, or work in general.)

My mom's pretty cool, and has a wide sense of humor. My sister and I have exposed her to quite a lot of random things over the years. One of my best memories is when my sister came home for Christmas after she moved, the three of us went to see Napoleon Dynamite and my mom laughed harder than both my sister and I. I have high hopes that she'll find amusement out of the podcasts, but I doubt she'll see it as funny as my sister and I do. Then again, I'm used to that.

Back to the wedding. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family this weekend. As you get older you realize just how awesome it is to have close family. I have a huge family (Mom's the middle of 9 and Dad's the oldest of 12), and we are all different, but we all have fun together. I'm closer to my mom's family, and am excited to have dinner party at my newly (well, summer) married cousin. It'll be really nice to see my dad's family at the wedding. It's a rarity that all the Mejia's are together, so this will be nice. It'll be interesting, that's for sure, but nice. The Mejias (and Walkers) know how to put on a good party!

Congratulations Ali! I wish you all the best. Love you!!

My Top Ten Lists

MOVIES

Okay, I didn't see all the movies you're suppose to see in the theater, for example, Social Network or True Grit. I guess a better title would be “The Top 10 Movies That I Saw This Year.”

Another note: I have not included Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 on purpose. I hold those movies in it’s own category of awesomeness. However, DH is my second favorite, after Prisoner of Azkaban.

1. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

2. 127 Hours

3. Inception

4. Black Swan

5. Animal Kingdom

6. Shutter Island

7. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

8. The Town

9. Kick-Ass

10. Iron Man 2

TELEVISION SHOWS

Again, I don’t watch all that much TV. Okay, so I do, but I don’t watch what I should be watching. I know that Dexter and Mad Men would be on this list, however I didn’t watch it from the beginning, and I hate catching a serial show like that in the middle and not know what’s going on. Lucky for me Netflix has them. Ah, the joys of Instant.

1. Sons of Anarchy

2. Terriers

3. The Walking Dead

4. The League

5. Modern Family

6. True Blood

7. Benson Interruption

8. Castle

9. White Collar

10. Psych

ALBUMS

If it wasn’t for some good friends of mine, I would pretty much have no new music. These are the albums that I got this year, that’s it! I only bought 2 of them on my own accord. Fear not, though, there are more albums that I got this year, just none from 2010. I have a lot of catching up to do.

1. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World soundtrack

2. SuperLiteBike -- Away We Go

3. Yeasayer -- Odd Blood

4. The Arcade Fire -- Suburbs

5. Kaki King – Junior

PODCASTS

You can pretty much see a pattern when looking at my podcast subscriptions…I’m a comedy nerd. Damn you Chris Hardwick! Now you’ve got me calling myself a nerd.

1. Doug Benson Loves Moves

2. Nerdist

3. Sklarbro Country

4. Comedy Death Ray

5. Pod F. Thomcast

6. This American Life

7. Jordan Jesse Go

8. Stop Podcasting Yourself

9. Fresh Air

10. Speedway Squad

Christmas Morning

I don't know what it was, but I was super excited yesterday morning. I felt like I was 6 years old again, waiting for my mom to wake up so we could go see what Santa had brought up. Except this time, I was playing Santa and I couldn't wait for my mom to see what I had gotten her.

Not that I got her anything that was all that expensive or big or elaborate or anything. It was more of just a few things that I knew she wanted, had mentioned/looked at it, and I went to get it without her knowledge. I got "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Despicable Me." Just movies, nothing special.

Yet, for some reason, I was super excited about my mom seeing what Santa brought her. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a really long time, and it was fun to feel it again.

We did watch "Despicable Me" that morning. It is a cute movie, I enjoyed it. Good job, Santa!