Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't know how many times I've talked about keeping up with this blog, especially since I'm actually a contributing writer to different things, yet I don't ever do it. I can't keep making excuses for myself. This time around, I was just lazy. I would of much rather listened to my podcasts and crochetted the Christmas presents for people. I'm promise it will happen less. (uh...)

As it gets closer to Christmas, I'm starting to concentrate on not getting stressed. This year I will be visiting my father and step-mom for the holidays. I'm looking forward to seeing and spending time with my dad. We've gotten closer in the last few years, and I do enjoy our time together.
It's not going to be as stress-free as it has been in times past, due to situations, but I'm focusing on the positive in hopes that positive energy wreaks havoc on the wicked.

It's always interesting spending Christmas with my father because he's not a big Christmas celebrator, never has been. I, on the other hand, love the holiday. I love decorating and spending time with those you love, buying personal gifts for people (I take gift giving very seriously). It's my family holiday. I don't even know if the house will be decorated. Not that I'm complaining, cause I would never. I am very happy and looking forward to seeing my dad, I'm just stating the fact that it's going to be different.

One other thing that I'm looking forward to and focusing on is New Years Eve. I will be away from friends, which is always a blow out, and will be with family. New Years Eve is one of my favorite friend holidays (along with Halloween). (I'm the nerd that dresses up in awesome things...that no one gets.) So, yes, selfishly I'm going to miss the drunken crazy of that night downtown. However, and a BIG HOWEVER, I not only will be with my father, who's birthday it will be, but I will be with not one, but both of my siblings. The first time in like 23 years. I'm serious, 23 years. Maybe ever, but that is a little unlikely. (not by much)

Oh, my siblings. I'm super bffs with my sister, so any time with her is awesome. I'm close to my brother, still looking up to the big bro. When you get the three of us together, which is a rarity, there is no telling what can happen. We've all gotten closer in the last few years, so I'm really excited to just be with them. I can't wait to have that conversation, "What do you mean you don't like Community?" The three nerds together again. Yes, there will be alcohol involved. The best thing about that, my brother will become a comedian himself! OMG, NYE is going to rock.

I may seem to be focusing a little too much on NYE, but I'm focusing on the positive than the negative of what could happen. This holiday season is something that we are all grateful for, one that we won't didn't necessarily know was going to happen, and may not ever again. It's not the easiest situation to go into, but there are enough things that will occur during these two weeks of the holidays to make these the best two weeks of the year.

My family is incredible important to me, and knowing that I will be ending 2011 with all of them means a lot to me. One memory that I know I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Run Away, Run Away...

In my head I picture the Monty Python crew running away from the 'French' castle while barnyard animals are being pelted at them. If only my issue was that funny.

I've realized in recent weeks that when the tough gets going, it takes all of my strength to not run and hide. I attribute this to my youth when I would get the belt for doing something bad. I don't want to imply that I was beat by any means, or that I have a fear of my parents in anyway (they are awesome, actually), but I never liked getting in trouble.

This isn't to say that I'm constantly getting in trouble in my adulthood, I've been quite good thank you. I've grown a lot since I was a child and have gainned strength I never knew I had. Yet, I still want to hide when things go down hill in my life. Like right now, I don't want to face reality.

Maybe that's what it is all about. I don't want to face the possible turn my life could be taking. I know that it's not anything new in the world, and many people, people I hold dear, have had to deal with in their lives, but I don't want it to be a part of mine.
Does that make me selfish? Probabaly, but that doesn't mean it's not any less hard.

This issue isn't something that's new to me, either. It's something that has been in the back of our minds for just about 10 years. The big difference now is that there might not be any more treatment options. That is the scariest thing and my worst fear. It's really hard not to shut down and question whether it's all worth it.

When issues like this happen to you, you find yourself questioning everything. What's the point in doing this if this person won't see it? Why do this if it isn't going to be anything more than an experience. It's hard not to fall into a huge depression pit. I let myself feel this way, I think it's healthy, for a few days. Usually I start to pick myself back up and move on. This time around, it's taking even more strength than usual.

I'm not really accomplishing my goal of movement, to be honest. I'm forcing myself to do things daily. I know it's not healthy, but until I know what my future path will be, I'm in limbo myself. That's what's the worst thing about this situation at the moment, we don't even know if there is or isn't any opions available to us.

I know that I will only run away so far. I can't completely check out. For one, I need to be there for him. I really believe that he gains strength from me, and I can't let him down, not now. I also know that if I let go of the rope while being in the pit, I could be done for. I don't know if I'm ready to give up. So, I continue on this battle and hopefully come out on top, not matter how appealing the hidden cubby-hole looks.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Back to Normal

I never thought I would be a schedule type of person, but there is something to say about having a daily routine.

October was a busy buys month for me.
First off, my dear friends got married. It was a beautiful wedding. It was at a vineyard just north of Austin, and we ended up staying in a hotel.

Yep, we after after partied there. Not too long, since we have a long night at the wedding. Before we went to the wedding we got some drinks, however they didn't have a liquor store close by, so we had to get malt beverages at the gas station. It was pretty hilarious.

As for the wedding itself, it was full of dancing, tears, smiles; a great time with great friends. That's one of the good things about going to a wedding of your close friends, when everyone you know will be there. My whole group of bffs, The IC, was there (half involved) so the night was one of the best nights we have all been together. At the end of the night, we even got the most amazing picture we have ever taken! I love this picture.

After the wedding, 4 days after the wedding, was the Austin Film Festival. I love this festival. It is always full of amazing movies and great panels. This year I got to see The Artist, The Rum Diary, Coriolanus. The panels I went to were Showrunners; Zombies, Apes, and Vampires; and Producing Outside the Norm. A week full of crazy. My highlight, meeting Martin Starr. He's so cool. (and Johnny Depp is awesomely rad!) To read more of my thoughts, go to www.austinfusionmagazine.com and see my November article.

Halloween. I love Halloween. It's one of my favorite holidays, my favorite friend holiday for sure. This year I went as Lucy and my bff went as Ricky. We looked amazing.
We spent the Saturday of Halloween at house parties, which was a nice change from the crazy of downtown. (And I didn't get super upset at the stupid sexy bag costumes.) I don't want to say it has anything to do with my age, cause I still like to party downtown, but I like the idea of house parties for events. We need to have more of those.

A few of us also went to a haunted house. I'm not the scary easily type of person, so it became very clear to me that I don't ever have to go to one of these. Sure, the anticipation of something jumping out at you was scarier than the things that actually jumped out at you. I also think that if you go in a large group, you're screwed. You hear the people ahead of you scream, so you know something is coming your way and you brace yourself. If it was with a smaller group, just you and the friends that came with you, it would be so much better. However, this would mean they would take FOREVER and you'd be waiting in line longer than the tour of the house itself. You really want to scare me, take me to a real haunted house and lets just hang out. No bueno.

November is now upon us. I wish it was colder outside, but it's a calmer month for me. I do have things coming up, but most of it is 'work at home' stuff so I can handle that with ease (and at work when we're slow) instead of running around town. This also starts the Xmas shopping time. I love shopping for my family, so this is never a chore. I have most of my ideas done, so that's good, and the others will come when they come.
I also have a wedding of a great friend of mine coming up. I can't wait to attend, but it's a simple wedding, and I already have my outfit, and there really aren't wedding gifts to get. It's just going to be a day together. Awesome.
I'm also working on articles for both Austin Fusion Magazine and Viva Latino (as well as attend the Wizard World Con), so I have a lot of 'work' coming up.

Okay, so it seems that November will be a full month too. Bring it on!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Favorite Albums

There are a few albums that I can listen to over and over again, just like movies.
Okay, so that's not exactly true. There are several that I can listen to over and over again (and tons of movies I can watch on repeat without getting annoyed or bored. Right now it's "How To Train Your Dragon.").

I am currently listening to one of them. It's an album that my sister made me for my 28th birthday. It is one of 4 cds, inside joke cds you could call them. They revolve around a certain book we used to swoon over (before realizing how awful they really were). One revolves around how heartbroken someone is, one is about how he's dealing with his decision to break up, one is all about being in love with your best friend, and one is just a bunch of random 90s rap songs. F-ing awesome.

I'm listening to the bff cd. Some of the songs are Interpol, TV on the Radio, Death Cab for Cutie, Cold War Kids, The Magnetic Fields, and Guided by Voices. They really are amazing songs. Sure, there has been a few times when I've listened to the album with other intentions, but most of the time it's just a good listen. I mean, the Pixies are on this mix.

The point is, there are those albums, those bands even, that you love so much that you just connect with and dance in your seat. The songs that when you listen to them you are transported to another time when you heard the song or the lyrics remind you of a place. It's all about the power of music.

That's why music is such an important player, in my opinion, in a movie. If it done well, you don't even notice, but if it's done bad you can't pay attention to anything but. Then there's the ones that don't use any music at all and can still evoke emotion.

Granted, there is the other side of the coin with the songs that just are bad. They don't have a good beat, their lyrics are lame, and you just can't wait to turn it off.
Then again, if they are still making music, some one have to like them, right? Maybe they don't like the music I listen to and can't wait to turn off Band of Horses. Music is objective after all.

No matter what way you look at it, music is one of those creative means that makes many people smile. I love it, and I love listening to "She Will Be...The Death of Me!"

Friday, September 30, 2011

The Flood Gates Have Opened

It seemed to come out of nowhere, really, but I have not been able to stop coming up and participating in creative ventures.

If it's designing jewelry, composing mixed cds, crocheting various projects, making a wedding card box, or working on my scripts. Out of the elements named, I'm only NOT doing one. And even then I'm still trying to find my Sparkly.

My Sparkly. Do you remember the movie "Secret of NIMH"? I LOVE this movie. It's one of my childhood favorites, one that was missed by the masses but should not have been. One that I have also shared with my niece (even though I don't think she loved/loves it as much as I did/do). I am putting together my outfit for my dear, dear friend's wedding in a few weeks. I am planning on wearing red shoes and want the amulet from that movie, or something similar, to wear with my planned jewelry. Charcoal colored dress, red shoes, cultured pearls with a red amulet. It's going to be awesome. Classic with a hint of wild. Anyways, I've been looking for a red pendant that could pass as the amulet to attach to the strand of pearls I already bought. So far, sadly, not too much luck. But, I have a few more places to check out. I don't know what I'll do if can't find out. Na, I'll probably make it.

Okay, so my little cousin is turning 1. In order to save the surprise in case his parents read this, I'll just leave it at that, I'm composing cds for his bday. Yep, cds, plural, as in two. =)

Crocheting, also for gifts. One dealing with the cousin above, which if I can make the plans in my head come to life, it's going to be awesome! I also made a stuffed bear for a friend's kid's first bday. (Lots of baby's turning one!) I also have future projects that I'm starting to plan and am itching to do. Have to finish the little one's first!

My dear, dear friends asked me (or the bride technically did) to make a box to hold all the wedding cards at the wedding. You know, one place to put the cards instead of on other presents and risk losing them. Anyways, I have almost everything I need, and just need to make a pattern and follow through with everything. Again, this is one that the plan is in my head and I'm hoping beyond hope it's as easy as I see it. I told some other IC members about it, and they were a little shocked at how much is involved. Although, they weren't surprised. If you ask me to make something for you, I don't hold back. Especially for people who are so near and dear. I definitely make things with love.

Finally, my script. I've started another one. Yes, I know I need to do a second draft of the summer one, but I couldn't stop thinking about this one. (So what if I'm casting in my head before it's even written.) I sort of jumped right into it without writing a treatment. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. My mind is full of ideas and scenes and the direction of the story, so writing, when I get to it, flows pretty easy. It's fun to be writing like that again. I really do like creating a world for these characters and see what happens. It's like you have this shell of people, fill them with a juicy center, then drop them into the Colosseum and see what happens.

It's fun to be overflowing with creative energy. It truly does make me happy.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Idris Elba Day!

That's what I'm officially declaring today. Why, you ask, because Luther is back! Season 2 airs on BBC America tonight and I can't wait. I'm evening having a dinner party to watch it with other fans...Okay so it's me and my in-laws but whatever.

The first season was amazing. My sis-in-law turned me on to it, and I watched all 6 episodes pretty much back to back on Netflix. That's a lot to get through. In the sense that it's not the easiest show to watch because of the dark subject matter and emotional roller coaster you end up going on. But I think it's also the best way to watch the show. You are so involved with the characters that you want to know immediately what happens to them. The only problem, when you're done you're at a loss for the show. I'm also excited to watch it as a serial and watch it week to week. Real time viewing (minus the fact that it already aired in England).

I won't spoil anything because I hate doing that, and you need to watch it, but I can't even imagine what's going to happen this season, where it's going to go.
The unthinkable happened last year (which was dealt with nicely) and I don't know if he can come back from that. All of those involved, crazy different backgrounds, but all in this together...What! So amazing.

The next question is about his co-workers. What is that dynamic going to be like. There was this fantastic evolution with several co-workers, you wonder if it's going to fold into itself. How much do they know about each other, how much will they question authority and do what they think is right.

Oh, and then there's always Alice. I really hope she stays one of the main focuses. However, with this new season, will they continue with her being the "Big Bad" or bring in something/one new? They could go the typical serial type and have each season (he just signed on for a 3rd!!) have a new focus, or they could just stay on track and continue from what they left off on. There is definitely enough story and subplots to continue on the same road.

Man, so many questions.
I love good TV!

Monday, September 26, 2011

New Television Shows

TV Season, 2011.
Not bad so far. I know this probably should go in the TV section, but whatever. I'm such a TV person that the new fall schedule makes me happy. I guess the easiest way to do this is what is my new favorite show for each day.

Monday: 2 Broke Girls
First off, I like Kat Dennings. I've surprising seen many of her films (true, sometimes by accident), but I've her even in the bad movies. I like the writting, it's smart and witty (thank you Whitney Cummings). I think it's realistic, but with outlandish humor. Does that even make sense? To me it does. True, a server would never talk back to a customer (without getting fired), but it's the dialogue they all wish they can say. I also though the pilot was funny. It laid out the entire show, there is an end in sight, and you can imagine the crazy stuff in the middle of it all.
I'm excited for Terra Nova, though. So we'll see after tonight.

Tuesday:
Yeah, I'm not sure yet. I'm watching Ringer with SMG, but I'm not sure. I liked the pilot, there is a twisted web of mystery. Besides, it's SMG, it's Buffy. The second episode though, sucked. It told the same plot points and storylines over and over again, which was already set in motion in the pilot. I will stick with it, just don't know if I'll make it a whole season.
Also, New Girl. Yes, Zooey Deschanel is absolutely adorable. It's funny and nerdy and a little much. The little much part, not sure how much I can handle that. Granted, Happy Endings is a little much, but I connect with those characters so I deal with it well. We'll see. I'm sure I'll end up loving it.

Wednesday
Not watching anything new, but it's the night of Luther, so yeah.

Thursday: Person of Interest
JJ Abrams. Enough said.

Friday
So excited for Grimm!

Sunday:
Can't wait for Once Upon A Time!