Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hit with Real Life

I expected to be feel a little more like an adult after turning 30 (which was a fantastic time! went by way to fast.), but I never expected to be thrust into it as soon as I stepped off the plane.

Literally, right when I can back I was aware that my father wasn't doing too well, or at least he joked about his healthy, which freaked me out. It turned that that the joke indeed was something serious. The good thing is that we are taking care of it and everyone is very confident.

It's never easy looking at your parent's mortality in the face, and it's definitely not easy seeing it every day.
Dealing with family health problems is never easy, especially when you're right on the front lines. The hardest part is waiting for an answer. You're freaking out while this is happening, tons of things running through your head, and you don't know what to do. If you think about things too much then you breakdown, and that's not good for anyone involved. You are automatically thrown into the strength position, which you gladly take, but are afraid that you are going to crack. Luckily for you, you have some amazing friends and family who are there as support.

Once a diagnosis is made and a course of action is set, you start to relax. Not to much, because the threat of total breakdown is always sneaking around the corner. Reinforcements are called in, which you not only are grateful for, but who can also help you tread into uncharted waters. Several waves seems to be in the works. Everyday you feel more and more confident that you and yours will conquer what is ahead of you. Of course you will, your family is not one to be easily messed with.
You slowly start to see your life return to normalcy, for it has to. You have not only worked so hard to build a life your proud of, but things are beginning to form that you never expected. Life, as they say, must go on.

I knew things were going to change for me this year, but dammit, I didn't want this to happen. I already had a shitty health year last year, it wasn't supposed to be repeated. I also never expected this to hit me like a ton of bricks, though I guess it's not suppose to be something that happens over time. Basically, I wasn't ready for this to happen right after my awesome Flirty Thirty weekend.

The point of life is to take challenges thrown at you and adjust to them so you can continue on your way. I have been derailed, that's for sure, but I'm in the process of getting back on the tracks. That's really all I can do. Build my strength and get back to myself, but allowing others to help and reach out for much needed help. It's a long road ahead, but I think I can make it through.

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