Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Taking Back Your Life

Is it a good sign when before you even start the post you immediately jump into a side note? Anyways, every time I hear 'your life' I think of Varsity Blues. Remember that 1999 movie with James "Dawson" Van Der Beek and Paul "Too Fast" Walker and Scott "No Neck?" Caan? James says the most hilarious line in the worst Texas accent ever!: "I don't want your life."
Now back to your regularly schedule program...

There are many instances where I make this grand declaration of taking my life back. It consists of the ideas of working on what I think need to be fixed, no mended. These mostly consist of working on my scripts and exercising more. I pump myself up to achieve this and am excited to get started and start anew.

It never fails that once said declaration is made something in my life comes crashing down. I spend what is suppose to be time mending my faults mending my life back together.
The point I'm at now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to mend my life back together, so why not make that same declaration...

I want to take my life back. I want to actually work on the things that need to be fixed.

I do plan on ending my laziness and start to dedicate at least two nights to writing. This does seem like it's not that big of an improvement, but when you consider what I have going on in my life at the moment, two is a good place to start. This, of course, doesn't mean I can't dedicate more days or work on it more what I initially thought, I hope that happens. At least, though, it's a place to start and a place for me to focus my energy.

Same goes with the working out more. I'm going to switch up my routine a little in the hopes that this will spark something in me. Something fresh to throw at my body to have it adjust to. I'm pretty strong when it comes to my current workouts, so a challenge is what I need. Besides, it'll be nice to hit a heavy bag. I'm sure that's the best way to relieve stress. Maybe I'll even be cute when my bffs wedding comes around in the fall.

The biggest thing that I'm hoping to achieve with this declaration is a refocusing of my emotional state. My emotions are all over the place, causing me to be confused and feel numb. Not the most pleasant feeling to be living with day to day. I figure, I have strong emotions, why not place them in something that deserves them, some place that thrives on them. It seems logical.

Maybe I should have been doing this all along. Maybe I should of used what was thrown at me at ammunition for other projects instead of building up a bulletproof vest to wear.
I don't know, though. That vest has come in handy and will forever be with me.

Maybe my past declarations were just the prelude to what is to come now. This is my time to take my life back.

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